Wild Sibling Grief Prompts: Everything the Question Misses

9 prompts for the question, the relationship it can't measure, and everything it leaves out

A Wild Grief Prompt Set for paid subscribers, this is an in-depth companion to the essay post Were You Close and the three free prompts that followed earlier. Thanks for being here.

This week’s essay was about “were you close,” the question most every surviving sibling gets asked, and why it misses nearly everything. It collapses two things that are not the same: closeness and contact. You can love someone deeply and not be talking much. You can drift for a season and never stop being close. Like Tony and me, sometimes you are finding your way back to each other when the time runs out, and the closeness you just rebuilt becomes one more thing you lose. That is a secondary loss, and it has its own weight.

These nine prompts move through four places: the question itself, the seasons which may have been more difficult, any difficult emotions that can arise from pondering your sibling relationship in this way, and the qualities or aspects of the relationship you are carrying with you now. Take them in order or skip to the one that is pulling at you. There is no schedule and no finish line.

A note before you begin. These prompts do not necessarily assume a relationship with your sibling that you want to continue. You may wish to stay connected, but if your relationship with your sibling was harmful, complicated, or one you have actively stepped away from in your grief work, some of these prompts will not serve you. Skip what does not fit. You are not required to maintain a bond with someone who was not safe for you. That is also grief work. You can, if you feel comfortable, use these prompts to set the boundaries you need.

Tony's Corner.

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